My 2011 Resolutions to My Spouse

New Year resolutions are usually for ourselves. They can border on selfish at times, and I thought it would be redemptive to compose a list of resolutions that would benefit someone else other than myself: My husband.

For the past two going three years, I have been married to this wonderful guy:

My hubby, Ton, and our son, Vito

Now, don’t assume that I’ve been remiss as a wife because I’ve decided to make a list of resolutions on being a better wife. I do a pretty damn good job, and my husband always tells me so. But with all the mothering, the housekeeping, the cooking and the daily task of being a work-at-home mom, I can very easily focus on the externals of being a “good wife” and forget about the things that make me truly good from within.

We would have been married for three years come this April 2011. I could just as well say I’ll repeat our vows, but we’re already living in the moment of “for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” I thought I’d be more specific. This is quite a personal list, but perhaps my readers might pick up some wisdom or two from what I have to say about being a better wife next year.

So, honey, in 2011, I resolve to:

1. Always tell you every day how much I love you. I know we tell each other this everyday, but I never want to get rusty! I hope to find different ways to tell you how much I value, trust, adore and love you.


2. Make our alone times top priority. We’re together 24/7, but that doesn’t mean we always have time to ourselves. With work, parenting and chores to do everyday, we can easily get sidetracked and forget to just cozy up with each other. Let’s “date” each other more this year! They needn’t be extravagant or exceptional, just branded with the love only you and I share.


3. Learn to let go more. I know my Type A personality can be a two-edged sword at times. In the New Year, I hope to be less of a perfectionist when it comes to little, trivial matters; I hope to work better on things that truly count. Like, it’s okay that the house gets messy (gulp!), or it’s okay if the cabinets get a little tousled every now and then (er, but not too often!). But not too much, as I want to keep the house a comfortable haven for you. I just want to be less stressed about it!

4. Be more patient.  You always said my hand fit perfectly in yours, that we make a good match being total opposites. Our personalities have jived more for the better than for worse, but I know I can still improve. I hope I’ll learn to be more laid back in areas that I stress too much over, so that I don’t burden you with too much that “needs” to be done. We all have our own pace, anyway.

5. Encourage you. You are truly a good man. You are generous, understanding, affectionate, loving, and you are a wonderful father. I hope I’ll remind you and affirm you for all these qualities more and more in the new year so that you will always feel in tip-top shape for anything life throws your way.

In putting these into practice, I hope I can be a better wife and a better person overall. While it’s a short list, it counts for many points of improvement. Here’s hoping 2011, our third year of marriage, will find me being a truly grateful, happy, content and fulfilled wife. I am so fortunate already, it’s time to revel in it!

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