Dainty Mom’s “That’s What She Says” series celebrates motherhood by featuring guest posts by other fab mom bloggers. This week’s guest is a super-cute, hilariously funny working mom and one of my favorite bloggin’ mommas: Fleur of Mommy Fleur!
Being the Best Working Mom You Can Be
By Fleur Sombrero
I know most (if not all) mothers would prefer to be stay at home moms. What mother would not want to spend the whole day with her child, diba? Some mothers get to be lucky. They stay at home, mind the house, the husband and the kids. Some mothers naman get to work at home. I feel that they are as lucky as the stay at home moms. Imagine, doing something you like and you’re good at, being paid for it, all while at home with your baby. Winner!
Now, moms like me, who need to work five days a week, are a different breed. I have read articles (even from other mommy bloggers) who have said not really nice things about mommies like me. According to them, there is no other fulfillment daw than being at home and taking care of the family. No monetary gain daw can compensate the time away from the kids.
Ganun? Is it fair to say that?
I feel that they can say this because they are lucky. Either they have no house mortgage or rent to pay (read: nakikitira lang or living with somebody else) or they are fortunate enough that they can live on one income. Mothers like me work because we share the expenses responsibility with our husbands. We have to help pay for the roof above our heads, our weekly groceries, our babies’ basic needs and contribute to the savings for our future. I haven’t touched my child’s education yet, which, for me, is the most important thing you can ever give your child. We all know excellent schools do not come cheap. I am seriously working my ass off so that I can send my daughter to the best schools. Yan na ang pamana ko sa kanya–a good education will be Anika’s inheritence from me, aside from my comfy, sexy Levi’s jeans.
Anyway, sorry I got carried away.
I get really affected when I hear or read things against working moms. They just do not know how hard it is to be away from our babies! Imagine our internal struggle to go to work every single day while our kids make paawa (beg) for us not to leave. Nakakaloka! It can drive a mom crazy!
What I really want to do in this entry is to tell working moms how to cope and how to be good moms
.1. Hire the best yaya (caregiver) ever. I admit: Girlie isn’t perfect; but she does love our daughter so much. Dyan pa lang panalo na ako (That means I’m lucky to have found a good nanny!). She takes good care of Anika because she loves her. She feeds her, bathes her and is patient enough to play with and talk to her. I get worried sometimes that Anika will love Girlie more than she loves me. So whenever we go out, we do not bring the nanny with us anymore: It’s just me, my hubby and our daughter. Nasosolo ko ang baby during lakwacha time. So get somebody who truly cares about your child to be the one to take care of her while you’re gone. It will make you feel more secure when you’re out at work.
2. Spend quality time with your child. Quality stumps quantity anytime. Whenever I’m home, I do not go online when Anika’s awake. I make sure we play together, read together, eat together, watch a DVD together, or just be in our room together. We do make-ups, dress-ups, we dance and do other kikaystuff girls do. I also make sure that I go home early after work to catch her before her bedtime. Even if I’m so tired from work, I’m still the one who puts her to sleep.
3. Get involved. Since I’m not in the house with Anika 24/7, I see to it that I’m still involved in her daily stuff. I call twice a day to check what she’ll be eating or if she ate a lot. I call to tell Girlie to make sure to wipe Anika’s back because she perspires a lot. When I go home from work, I interview Girlie about what happened that day, who Anika played with, what she recently learned, new things that she can do, etc. Para ngang may job interview ang Girlie everyday. Before I sleep and while Anika is sleeping, I do a body check on her to see if she has scratches, wounds or insect bites. I put ointment on these bites or if there are small scratches, I interview Girlie again.
4. Special things are done with Nanay (that’s me!) only. This is a tip I learned from Mimma Benz. There must be special things that only you can do with your child. Playing with a special toy that she really likes, for example. Instruct the nanny that she can only play that toy with you. Another example is food. You can have a rule that only you can feed her ice cream. In our case, aside from the two things I mentioned, it is only with me that Anika can play make-up with. My daughter loves putting make up on with me that I had to buy that gently J&J pressed powder for her. We have so much fun playing with make up in front of our mirror. It’s OUR time, no one else’s.
5. Spend time by yourself. Yup that’s right. Magparlor ka, teh–go get your hair done or have a massage every once in a while. If the budget allows it, go shopping every now and then for yourself. You need to feel good in order to be a good mother. Like they always say, a happy mommy makes a happy baby! =)