Blessed and Enough.

During our Write On, Mom creative writing workshop, we were tasked to write about our fears, joys, to explore our inner depths and commit them to a blog post. Like my fellow writer-moms, I’m taking on the challenge, and so this post is dedicated to my fellow mom-writers from last week’s workshop: May we, as Hemingway says, keep “bleeding,” so that we can (as Maya Angelou says) “find out who we are, what we’re capable of, how we feel, how we lose and stand up, and go on …”

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Last week, as I was reading through my fellow writer Van’s blog, I came across her reflection on being “enough.” If you read through Van’s blog, The “Shed” Mom, you’ll see that she mostly writes about the process of simplifying: doing away with excess baggage; getting rid of the non-essentials that bog us down, whether they are things or situations in life. 

One of non-essentials I constantly find myself getting rid of this bad habit of comparing myself to others — specifically other moms.

I say “getting rid off” in the present-progressive tense, in that I’m still learning to not make comparisons. 

It’s hard. It’s a human inclination for us to compare: Why else would one of the seven deadly sins be avarice? We’re all familiar with the commandment, “Thou shalt not covet,” aren’t we? God must have had a reason for implementing that: it was for people like me (especially when I’m lacking sleep and pimple-ridden from PMSing).

It’s for those moments, when I believe that those women seem to “have it all.”

You know who I’m talking about. Those successful mompreneurs. Those magazine cover ladies who seem to have found the perfect balance between marriage, motherhood and “me” time. Those “it” bloggers — both the moms and non-moms, of course. Those friends on my social media feeds who are on their next vacation in an exotic white beach, slathered in tanning oil and sipping champagne on board a yacht or private jet. And yes, those friends and family with 2nd and 3rd babies… sigh.

Yes, I’ve coveted.

Yes, I’ve wished on “what if’s” and pondered, “what about me”?

Sorry, God… but hallelujah! It means I’m normal; I’m a thinking, feeling human being.

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If I can borrow from a favorite movie, “I lead a small life; valuable, but small.” Seems like it: I work at home, between the living-dining area, on a laptop, five days a week.

Through narrow eyes, that’s all one sees. I’ve come to realize that it’s actually a much bigger picture:

  • I have a supportive husband, who like me, is passionate about being a work-at-home parent and startup entrepreneur.
  • Said husband is wildly supportive of my goals and ambitions.
  • I have a beautiful son, whom I’ve been able to accompany day-in and day-out, whose milestones I’ve witnessed first-hand, together with my husband.
  • I have a small, startup businessboth here and here, which allow me to work where I want, when I want.
  • I’m part of a community of 200+ women who, like me, are striving to make a living while making a home, many of whom have become good friends.
  • We are able to live with more than enough, with money in the bank, even in investments.
  • We are surrounded by family and friends, all of whom are healthy, strong, and abounding in their own way.

Then I realize: What a silly, ungrateful woman I can be, to think that I am neither blessed nor enough.

Being “me” is a blessing. Realizing that life is blessed and enough: that is a gift.

If I can be nerdy for a moment: According to studies,  the ability to imbibe happiness has little to do with one’s circumstances and accomplishments. Rather, happiness is measured by how we gauge the good things in our lives, no matter our age or life stage. It is simply to practice wanting what we already have, and to enjoy our present state of blessing.

Boom.

So the next time a friend tells me, “You’re so blessed, Marts,” I won’t be feigning humbleness.

I won’t be saying, “Aww, shucks. No, no…”

I’ll be crying inside that life has been good to me.

Maybe they see my life and say, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Should I rejoice that others perhaps covet me? No. I don’t wish covetousness on anyone. And so, to anyone I’ve offended by not being grateful for my blessings: Please forgive me for my pride. To God, who is infinitely gracious: I’m sorry for belittling your goodness. As I write and reflect on this, I am humbled. I knock myself on the head, and I am brought to my knees. It’s God’s and the universe’s way of putting me in my place, telling me: “Yes, right here, right now, you are blessed.”

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. — Mother Teresa

Blessed and Enough

 

I’ve never been perfect at it, but today, I choose to be thankful that my life is blessed and “enough.” What about you? How will you find “blessing” and settle into that state of “enough”?

Comments

  1. Christie says

    Nice article, very inspiring.
    We are blessed in many ways, often neglected with our eyes but in our hearts truly knows we are blessed.
    My goal everyday: Be positive and be a blessing to everyone.
    Your inspiring thoughts are blessing to your readers.
    Have a happy weekend!

    • Martine says

      Thanks, Christie! We ARE blessed, it’s often a lack of gratitude that blinds us to our blessings. Thanks for sharing your goal: I want to be that for others, too! Have a happy Saturday and Sunday with your fam.

  2. Christie says

    Very inspiring article. We are blessed in small and big ways. It’s blessing to give inspiration and motivation to others. Be positive and be a blessing to everyone. Have a nice weekend.

    • Martine says

      Fran!!! You’re one of those women I’ve looked at “from the other side” during my low times. I’ve said, “Man, I wish I was more like her! I wish I could write like her, get the same opportunities!” But now I see that I am right where I’m supposed to be, because dito ako i-bi-bless ni Lord: When I rejoice, when I “count it all joy” and when I am grateful, humbled by HIS goodness. Thanks for supporting me, ha. It means so much that you do!

    • Martine says

      Faye, it’s when I write that I feel I can reflect in length about these things. I’m faaaaar from improved, but you’re right: sharing the journey with others makes it easier. Thanks for sharing!

  3. says

    There sure would be people better than us and it’s hard not to covet. It’s hard not to want walking in their shoes. There were times I wish I was somebody else. But, having children put things in perspective. I wouldn’t want my kids to wish to be someone other than their wonderful selves. I want them to be secure in their parent’s love and in God’s affirmation. And to teach that, I must first learn that.
    ceemee recently posted..Communicating Positively With Our Children, Cymplified!My Profile

    • Martine says

      Cym, you have shared such wisdom here! I want to impart the same to my child, that he has been made to be MORE than enough, because of WHO he is, who God has made him to be!

  4. says

    Oh my gosh, the Kleenex Club strikes again!!! I can totally relate to this post, Marts. I’ve complained about where I am, who I am, what I am and what I have way too many times. I do realize how much I have, but it is time for me to stop thinking about what I don’t have, and start learning to be content with what’s already in my life. I remind myself of this every day, and your post just totally hits home. Thank you for writing this. And thank you, more importantly, for the things you teach me. :)
    Patty recently posted..Inspiration for the Week AheadMy Profile

    • Martine says

      Dear Patty! This is why we get along, right?! It’s not easy to admit our “baho” and icky parts, but sometimes, we need to admit it to our friends, even those online, because we are all learning, we are all on this path to wholeness, to completion. I’m glad you were blessed, I’m SUPER blessed by YOU, too!

  5. says

    Like what I have stated in my latest blog post, I’m striking while the iron is hot. I’m currently having a real good time as a woman, wife and mother. My husband may be away as a member of the military but I haven’t felt unloved and unappreciated (lately!). My daughter may have discovered her independence playing-wise but I’m still fortunate that I witness her every move every single day. I’m branding myself as a “blogger”, just so I will make it sound as if I’m busy but I’m as-a-matter-of-factly a housewife; but I’m happy beyond the word. I’m living the life I have envisioned when I was still a kid. I’m “writing” (though not yet for a living — but going there, I hope!), I am married to a man who’s very much alike my father in many ways, and experienced a life-changing moment when I become a mother to a baby girl.

    Thanks for this wonderful post, Martine. I wasn’t able to attend the Blog Inspired and Write On, Mom Workshops but I am taking the road you are taking to bliss, inspiration and happiness. Let us do our best to change the world (for the better, of course!) by being the best person we can be — one mother at a time. :)
    Denise Rayala recently posted..Men, According to My ManMy Profile

    • Martine says

      Denise, it’s SO true. Sometimes we can’t see past “the end of our noses” as Mary Poppins says! But it’s when we stop looking at what we don’t have that we start to LOVE what life has handed to us. Thanks for sharing — we should meet!!!!

  6. says

    Yes! Just the simple act of being grateful for what I already have right now has changed my outlook tremendously. The cliches are true: the little things matter, there is beauty in the mundane. And guess what: more often than not, those glossy moms on the covers of magazines who seem to have it all could very well be battling with their own mini dramas too, we’re just not privy to it.

    • Martine says

      So true, Van. Sometimes envy and comparison cloud our vision of what is “blessing”, what is grace, the undeserved gifts that life (or God, if that’s one’s belief) hands us. As for “those moms” that I’ve often compared myself to, one wise friend said to me, “Be thankful that magazines have editors: they only show the awesome, not what’s unsellable.” No matter who we are, we all have something we’d like to change. The key is really to not seek that change for the sake of changing, but to accept what is already GOOD. :)

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