My son is a liar!

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Yep, Vito lied to me and his Dad. Flat out, then and there.

I was doing the dishes after we’d finished our morning meal. OK, so the dishes were sitting in the sink for like an hour before I got to them, and so it was close to lunch time, and I was also prepping lunch. Since we’d be eating in about thirty minutes, I specifically told Vito that he couldn’t snack any more. Now, Ton and I have this rule already set in stone: No snacking before meals is something we know by heart, and we don’t need to remind each other about it anymore.

So I said the usual instruction: “Vito, no more snacks. You can have Honey Stars after lunch.”

He stood their quietly, watching me rinse the last few plates. Then he chimed in sweetly —

“But, Daddy said I can.”

++++++

I can tell you that I turned off the tap, and did my best, “Say, WHUT?!” face.

“What did you say, Vito? Did Daddy really say that?”

He didn’t blink. He just plastered on a sheepish grin.

“YES.” And then he ran his fingers up the fridge in a slow “Eensy Weensy Spider” motion that was meant to make me think he was adorable beyond reason.

Nice try, kid.

Of course, I verified the information and asked Ton if he had indeed told Vito he could have Honey Stars before lunch — and of course, the answer was. “no.”

I can tell you that — in that moment — I felt the like rest of Vito’s childhood flashed before my eyes like some kind of strange, eerie, foretelling. Sure, it was the first time he actually told a “lie”, but hey, he’s just a kid. He’s three years old; what does he know about what he’s doing?

Apparently, a lot already. In fact, in this article I read on Huffington Post, Dr. Peggy Drexler says that kids have been known to experiment with lies early on in their lives, some as  young as 2 years old. (The most deceitful age, according to studies, is when a child reaches 12! Yikes.)

Kids learn early on how to be self-serving. It’s a fact; they figure out that they can do certain things to get what they want. I suppose Vito experimented with his little lie to see if I would believe it, and eventually he’d get what he wanted. Of course, his little plan failed… and thankfully so! (He was quite hungry by the time I served lunch.)

It might seem like a small matter: What’s a little lie from a three year old anyway? And yet, part of me was a bit saddened by all this. My kid has figured out how to tell half-truths… and let’s just call them flat out lies. 

It was a bit of a reality check. The reality is: My son’s growing up. He’s picking up on certain habits and behaviors. He’s learning how to manipulate situations to his advantage. He’s smart, indeed! And then, I realize: He’s also a flawed human being. I know that as the years go by, his innocence will slowly get sullied by those irksome character flaws we try so hard to change when we’re “older.”

Damn you, human nature.

But I can’t simply blame our fallen nature. As a parent, I’ve got to suck up the responsibility before me now, to raise a truthful and honest kid. I don’t know how he picked up the idea of telling a lie, but it sure made me think if he witnessed me telling one. **Gulp** I hope not!

Sigh. It’s just a reminder for me to prepare and deal with these things as a parent. But to be honest, it’s one of those times I feel more like a kid than ever! Help! Can I really raise up my kid to be a good person?

Only God knows… really. So, God, please help me. I know it’s just a small matter, but I want to make sure I’m able to raise up my child to be honorable, upright, and knowing what’s right.

Update: Of course, we corrected Vito afterwards and explained that he shouldn’t say what Daddy didn’t actually say. He seemed to take it well. 

Has your kid ever lied? Has he or she done something, well, “bad”, even if in the eyes of the world, it wasn’t “that big of a deal”?

Comments

    • Martine says

      I cried while reading your entry, Patty!
      Motherhood gets harder and harder talaga, doesn’t it? Sigh. :( I pray daily for God to give me wisdom and strength to be a good mom.

      • says

        Up to now I still feel a pinch in my chest whenever I remember that morning. Yes, it gets harder talaga, but it also becomes more rewarding as we watch our little boys grow up to become great men. I think you’re doing a great job being mommy to Vito, Marts! :) hugs!

        Praying for strength and wisdom for us both.
        Patty recently posted..Crafternoons with FeltMy Profile

  1. says

    Hi Ms. Martine! I just blogged a similar mommy concern like yours. I can’t help it also to figure out what I’ve done wrong to have a disobedient 3 year old kid. I don’t know where she got that kind of manner but it worries and stresses me a lot. I know I have a lot of experiences to go through but I just pray that I’d be guided by God’s wisdom to properly deal with my kids. May God bless us parents.
    cheekeegirl recently posted..Monster MommaMy Profile

    • Martine says

      Thanks! I think that, at 3 years old, they are already learning certain behaviors because they are truly intelligent. I marvel at THAT aspect. However, we can’t stop our fallen human nature from butting in; the best we can do is to live mindfully and teach our kids MY EXAMPLE to do the same. It’ won’t be easy, though!

  2. says

    Recently, I have been wishing that my children would stay little and innocent forever. I’m so scared of them growing up and sending them into the world. I feel like time spent molding them and teaching them to be godly and responsible isn’t quite enough. I agree with you that I truly need God’s help. i cannot do this parenting on my own knowledge and wisdom, I need His.
    ceemee recently posted..Cupcake Dilemma, Cymplified!My Profile

    • Martine says

      I know what you mean, Cym! I suddenly felt unequipped and “duh” when I realized he had told a lie, even if it was seemingly innocent. Sigh. Lord, please help us be good parents, wise parents, and most of all, compassionate.

  3. says

    Amaya lied to me too. But she definitely didn’t get away with it. I told her too that LYING is bad. Even with my 2 older girls, I always tell them NOT TO LIE, cause no matter how much they tell the truth, I will always have that doubt which is not good. Meaning, not good to have a mom-daughter relationship built on doubt. So they know the rules but with Amaya, I have to CONSTANTLY remind her that LYING IS DEFINITELY A NO-NO.
    Ma. Teresa Grech Quiatchon Racal recently posted..The Sunshine Award: 11 Random FactsMy Profile

    • Martine says

      Thanks for sharing, Grechie! Great points there for your daughters. How’d you manage explaining it to them when they were younger? That’s my concern now… huhuhuhu.

  4. says

    Awww, you’ll encounter a lot more parenting challenges. Gulp! Just wait until Vito is a tween! My girls were pretty mellow and well-behaved when they were little but now that they’re 11 (going 12) and 10 years old, things have become more challenging, to say the least. Learning that 12 is the most deceitful age makes me nervous. Oh no!
    Janice recently posted..Impromptu Family DateMy Profile

    • Martine says

      I can feel it keenly, Janice! Things are getting complicated, and he’s only four years old (this November). How have you managed to raise three kids?! I marvel at it. Lord, help me! And I want another baby pa naman!!!

  5. says

    I empathize with you Martine. Our daughter was about 5 years when she first lied to us. I couldn’t remember the details but I remember reminding her that lying is wrong and is not acceptable in our family and also to God. Of course, it was an issue that needed to be addressed too by our “principal”, my husband. That night during story time, my husband told both of the kids the story of the boy who cried wolf. :-)
    I also believe that a lie, is a lie! Whatever size or color we think it may be, it’s still a LIE. Parenting skills tested and refined once again :-) Thanks for sharing Martine!
    Jude recently posted..Staring at a Blank PageMy Profile

    • Martine says

      Thanks, Jude! I know that I’ll probably never forget this moment, but it’s just a big reality check for me as a parent. It’s like God’s saying, “That’s the first of many. Are you ready?” Of course, I know He’s saying it kindly and with compassion. I know I can depend on Him for the strength, but it helps to know that I can look up to moms like YOU, who have gone ahead of me already in this mothering journey.

  6. says

    I was nervous when I saw the title in my blog’s sidebar so I immediately clicked it! Ohhh, Vito. Ayayay. I think my daughter was about Vito’s age when she first “lied” to me, and something to that effect, too! Now that she’s 5, she has more kwento now but hasn’t lied (so far). Dami lang kalokohan. The worst was binasag niya my blender. :( I’d like to think that it was an accident pero impossible. I cried over that instead of getting mad at her. As in hagulgol, parang first time na binreak ng boyfriend. Haha! For others, it was petty. But it was a big deal for me. It’s MY kitchen gadget and she didn’t take care of it. :( Oh well, I had moved on! She now knows she can’t just play anywhere she pleases.

    Thanks for sharing this, Martine! Ahhh parenting… why do you have to be such a task? :D

    • Martine says

      Huhuhuhu! It’s hard, Denise! Right?!

      I’d like to believe that my kid will be innocent and cute for as long he lives, but I know that’s not possible, kase my karma is coming to haunt me na, ahahahaha! Sorry Mom & Papa! This is it na. I know that I have to prepare my heart for all that’s to come — he’s just three, and I’m already getting paranoid that I’ll fail at this parenting thing.

    • Martine says

      We told him, of course, that it wasn’t the right thing to turn words around and he understood. We’ll be doing more of that, I suppose!

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