There doesn’t have to be a cut & dried line between doing what you love for a living.
You can do something meaningfully, work included. That can be your bliss.
Disclaimer: I started writing this blog post while I was sitting in Lydia Lee’s Screw the Cubicle: Business Freedom Roadmap workshop last weekend. So, forgive me if it sounds like I’ve rambled on and not gone through this post thoroughly. You’re going inside my head in a way! And go ahead, buzz me on Facebook if you see a typo. (You know who you are. Haha.)
It was a mind-blowing weekend, to say the least. I’ve always been attracted to individuals who have been able to give up the rat race and truly pursue work that means something to them, while enjoying life and the world at the same time. Not that I want to be a “digital nomad,” though. Not really. Travel here and there, yes, but as the kind of mother I am — a homemaking one — I value coming home to a little place to call our own, as a family.
Freedom of work… work I wake up loving each day, like, really.
… flexibility of time… wondering when we’re going on a road trip again. It’s been almost a month, I’m itching to leave again!
… being able to have life revolve around my young, small family…
… blogging and building communities… workshops…
That’s my bliss definition for this life stage.
There is too much stuff to digest into the blog post, when it comes to evaluating the workshop last weekend. (Note: You can still attend the second run this Nov 22-23, though. Go for it, if it speaks to you!) When I attended last weekend, one of my biggest takeaways really was this:
You don’t have to do the things what you don’t want to do — and there’s no emotion in feeling that.
Long ago (OK, four years ago, to be exact), I “quit the cubicle” and opted out of the office job so I could be a work at home mom instead. However, one of my “frustrations” in the work at home mom community is that so many moms lament that they are always working, and that despite being able to work at home, they are still never able to spend the time they want with their families. I’ve been told by many of them that we can never really have our cake and eat it too.
Well, I’m one of those that really refused to believe that! Haha.
But then, I’m also someone who never really aspired to be the “glam” mom, the mom who looked all-together, who had it all worked out. She doesn’t exist.
I knew I wanted my version of having cake and eating it, too: enough money to live on and with; enough investments to feel covered; enough time with my kids; enough time to enjoy life slowly. I even had enough time to plan for baby #2, which we are thrilled about, albeit a bit unsure at how much of my “cake” she will need, if you get my drift.
I don’t have “the cake” that the rest of the world might want, but this is “my cake,” right?
And my cake kinda tastes like the best feelings — as Danielle LaPorte says, your “core desired feelings” — I’ve ever had. My heart is fully invested in the small but valuable life I have, which includes running this blog, too. My family? My blog? The things I love doing, like workshops and creating communities? I could very well do those all out of passion…but I gotta be a mom, a provider, a guardian for my kids.
And that’s another thing. I can’t believe passion will be enough. I don’t want to lose out on family, on meaningful work, or life, for the sake of running a successful blog (which, if you must know, is not where I make a living, as many people think I do.) I can spend time on my passions, I can do it all for free, and no one can have a bone to pick with me about it. But, I am a mother, a co-breadwinner for the family. “Following your bliss” is more than just living on your passion.
It’s having every aspect of life, work, family, relationships, heart mean something to you, every day.
When someone sees me “doing my passion” — say, blogging and workshops — people always say, “Great job, Martine! Wish I could be like you!” Great, sure, thanks for the pat on the back! I love what I do, but I can’t live on pats on the back, and nor can my family (as Tara Gentile says).
It’s only when my bliss serves others that it is truly meaningful.
My goal isn’t to make everyone, every dream client their blog. It isn’t really the point.
I want to — in my own little way — let women like me know that you can have your cake (yours and no one else’s recipe!) and eat it too. And it’s OK to want that, to feel like you can have everything work out for you. Blogging is just an expression, a platform for that. And I will keep offering my services towards that, because it can be a catalyst for someone’s best kind of life — just like it is for me.
From my Facebook wall, last Sunday evening:
You CAN work totally off the grid, from anywhere you want to.
You CAN wake up in the morning, not dreading work but continually dreaming AND acting on those dreams to make them truly happen.
I’ve been doing this I realize, but to a certain limit. I feel like I’ve cracked open a new window of possibilities for my blog coaching & digital services to make them even more location-independent yet valuable. The roadmap this weekend helped me map it out. You can really have that 4-hour work week if you really want to put the real work first into it to make it happen.
You really can eliminate what you don’t want to be stuck doing, especially if your last passion venture no longer works for you. You can be intentional, love your business, and FEEL blissful about it, because YOU say you can and you make the plan happen.
So, that’s the end of my thought blast. Unedited, freewritten. I’ve not done this in a while? What do you think? Can you add to me thoughts and validate any? If you can, please do leave a comment below. Love, Martine.