by Mariel Uyquiengco of The Learning Basket
Being a mother is hands down one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
Parenting my 7- and 4-year old provides me with one learning experience after another. It’s a never-ending cycle of getting to know myself and my kids as I learn how to parent them in different phases and stages.
Just like most new moms, I was overly excited when my firstborn arrived. I did everything that parenting books and my older sister recommended… and probably more haha!Though I’d rather not label myself, you can say that I was a breastfeeding, baby wearing and cloth diapering mama… and will be again soon.
Of all that I learned, though, stumbling into positive discipline has been one of the milestones in my parenting journey. It has become my framework for building the foundation to my kids’ hearts and characters.
Positive discipline is all about teaching children in a kind and respectful way. After all, the word discipline comes from the Latin word “disciplinare,” which means to “teach.” (No, I don’t know any Latin but I do know how to ask Mr. Google!) There’s no need for punishment, humiliation and scaring tactics when dealing with children.
It has definitely made parenting more blissful in our home.
Positive discipline made me realize that there is a better way to parent, one that does not suck out my energy the way that yelling, nagging and spanking do.
We hug. We talk. We connect. I let the children figure things out on their own and just step in when they’re about to hit each other… or have already.
These positive tools have helped pave the path for the generally peaceful way that my husband and I parent our kids. “Generally” because we are not perfect and we continue to work at being positive parents everyday.
Determining my long-term goals for my kids, rather than just putting a temporary plug to prevent undesired behavior, has undoubtedly improved my relationship with them. Seeing their mistakes as opportunities to learn – and showing them how to deal with these mistakes – not only saves me the trouble of doing everything for them, but also helps teach them resilience, patience, and perseverance.
As my kids get older and the family gets bigger with another daughter coming soon, I am fairly certain that our responsibility to discipline and instill values in our children will be an ever-changing affair.
They will go through different phases and stages as they grow and I have to be equipped to handle these changes as they come. I am hoping though that because we are intentional about training them by practicing positive discipline, the journey will be nothing short of blissful.
Are you blissful in parenting your children? Do share in the comments!