martine de luna

Location: Hillside Cafe & Juice Bar

“Just let it slide.” This was a saying that I came across years ago, while listening to a preacher man talk about negative remarks and other forms of insults (in his case, pertaining to one’s beliefs and faithwalk). Since then, I’ve taken this saying along with me, applying it to other aspects of life, including blogging.

Since changing the voice of my blog from being purely about motherhood, I’ve seen the reach grow by leaps and bounds. It’s been much more pleasurable for me to blog outside of being a mom (though I always will be one and I love it). I get to relate to more than just those in a similar status in life, and it brings me a lot of satisfaction that I get to meet a variety of women because of the blog’s revamped reach. It’s been great, but it’s also — like with any change — come with its share of naysayers.

Sometimes people ask me (whether by email or during coaching sessions), “How do you deal with the negative people out there?” Whenever I get asked this, it’s not the negative comments and gossip that I’m concerned with. I’ve learned through time that as I keep on blogging about my opinions and beliefs, I will come across differently to different people. There will be those who agree with my style, my voice and message, just as much as there will be those who will disagree or even ridicule it. 

The truth is, I don’t dwell on the negative people, the detractors, the whisperers. Like one of my former readers (who disagreed with my changes) said, “Everyone will say bad things about you. You can’t control it.” And it’s true: You can’t please everyone. You can’t be vanilla to everyone.

So you let things slide.

Me? I laugh it off. I chat about it to my close friends, then forget it! Really! I don’t even wish anything bad on those people.

Life’s too precious, after all!

martine de luna

I’m not saying I don’t get hurt. It is hard when people pass judgment on you, or insult you to your face, and the worst: cowardly talk behind your back. I’ve dealt with different versions of people who’ve called down how I blog about “having a mission” or “living intentionally” or “finding your bliss.” I’ve had people ridicule my blogging philosophy to my face, and it wasn’t easy to take! But it’s OK with me. I have learned to deal with it through the years. People live by different standards, and no one is expected to hold on to beliefs or opinions other than those they form for themselves.

When I hold true to my beliefs of living slowly, of being “blissful” about blogging (and life in general), and of being more intentional, I will be judged as being a lot of things: “selfish”, “know-it-all”, “fake”, “shallow” — I could go on. But I’ve been blogging for six years now, and nothing’s brought me down so far! *wink wink* My younger brother once told me that the reason people probably look up to me *cringe* as a blogger is because I’ve lasted this long, despite the odds. “You’ve not given up when other people have,” he said to me.

So I do give myself some credit for that, for letting things slide. I’ve checked my motives and I still stand by my beliefs. Never mind the naysayers. Because this blog matters to me, as much as these people do:

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Blogging has been kind to me. It has allowed me to do the work I love. It has led me to collaborate with some of the best people on the blogosphere. It has been instrumental in helping me “escape the cubicle” and work from home, be a hands-on mom, live a day-do-day life according to our terms as a family. It’s not just something I do on the side, like a hobby or something for fun (though it IS FUN, yay!). Blogging is part of my way of life now.

There will be people who don’t understand. I’m living according to my beliefs, so I will get criticized for it no matter how confident I am about it, about what I write on the blog and what I offer through my work. But I live with it and thrive in spite of it! Like my mentor Marie Forleo says, “If you want to create anything meaningful in this world, it’s important to develop your own winning strategy for handling criticism.”

And so, letting things slide means I am nice — not fake nice — to the people who, well, aren’t being nice. Truth is, I’ve never even met the handful of people who ridicule me and my blog. They’re out there, they lurk in my site, and people who support me tell me about them once in a while. But these detractors have never really stepped into my “house” (the house being the blog). They’ve never gotten to know me, so of course they’ll shun or sneer or have their preconceived notions. How much can you learn from a person by just peering through the windows of their home? I just wish those people all the best. I’d rather give them the benefit of the doubt, because that way I lose nothing! *Smile*

So, dear readers, that is how I deal with critics and naysayers when they come. Remember: Let it slide. be nice. And move along.

I’d like to leave you this video by one of my favorite online mentors, Marie Forleo — someone who deals with criticism about her way of life & business and blogging, too. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me deal with naysayers in the past! Just watch it and realize how much less negativity you have to deal with compared to her!  Peace to all!